“Never judge someone unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”

This old adage came to me while I was out running today. What came to my mind first was that I’d rather run that mile than walk it. My wife and I take walks together, and I do enjoy them. Otherwise, I’d rather be running!

But yeah…a little perspective goes a long way toward building empathy, which gives the opportunity for relationship. Without relationship, I am pretty prone toward snap judgments and criticism – and that ain’t pretty!

“That way, if you do judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”

That part makes me laugh! If I’m a mile from you, and I have your shoes, I doubt you’d care if I judge you. You’re probably judging me anyway – for being a shoe thief! And you’d probably really just like your shoes back!

This guy I was in a group setting with a few weeks ago emailed me yesterday to say he missed me. My immediate (mental) response was Umm…okay…why would you miss me?? Let’s see…he didn’t speak to me even once in that group setting. How could he miss me? He doesn’t even know me! I became judgy real quick! He must have some alterior motive. Why would he say he missed someone he literally knows nothing about??

Then I tried stepping in his shoes. He seems to be pretty high achieving, so I just went with a guess that he’s an Enneagram 3 – Achiever. He’s the leader of the group. He probably wants to grow the group, but it’s also likely that he wants to be viewed as caring and concerned. And maybe he hasn’t been trained in how to reach out for connection with others. He’s probably just trying his best. I messaged him back, affirmed him as the leader of the group, and let him know I appreciate the ping.

Am I going to join his group? The jury’s still out…

The shoes in the pic are my next pair of running shoes. I haven’t put enough miles on my current pair to justify breaking these new ones out just yet, but I really like their design! They’re the next model of my current ones, so I also hope they fit just as well. My current pair fit great, but are quite boring to look at – mostly black with grey soles and just a little blue for the logo. I imagine myself just having more fun in the new ones!