What is a “normal” Mother’s Day?
I’ve never experienced any such thing. I mean, I was two months old, only because I was born two months premature, for the only Mother’s Day when my Mother was alive.
I spent the next six years motherless, then 40-something with a stepmom. I called her mom. It was the honorable thing. It felt something less than honest. She did her best, and I appreciate that. Now she’s gone, and I miss her presence on this mortal coil.
Along the way I got married and eventually my wife became a mom. But she wasn’t “my mom” (insert screaming child “you’re not my real mom” here). And every year this “holiday” is just weird for me. Some years I’ve handled it fairly well. Some have been meltdowns and epic fails. All have included some mixture of grief, anxiety, and awkwardness. Many came with expectations I felt unable or inadequate to meet.
This year, I’m spending Mother’s Day with my wife, her mom, our adult son and his wife. I’d love it if our daughter and her hubby could be with us as well. We did get some FaceTime with them last night, and I wasn’t too weird.
I tend to “go internal” and even somewhat dissociate on these days. But I’m working on it!
How about you? What’s Mother’s Day like? And hey, I’ll even ask…got any tips for a guy like me?
I was born on Mother’s Day, so it’s always special to me. I am spending part of the day with my mother in law, and part with my mom. My daughter and I will celebrate it in June…. It’s ok to have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day….there are some days that are harder than others. Talk about it and reflect…and blog it about it of course
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That is pretty cool. Happy everything day!
Thanks for your kindness. Yeah, I’m learning getting it out there is the best way forward!
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My mom and I were estranged (she’s dead now) and before we broke ties completely I actively hated her. Soooo… Mother’s Day was something I ignored. When I became a mom, I rarely acknowledged it was a thing even then. Probs because of the childhood association.
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Makes sense to me. But I feel the pain and anger, even the loss. That’s a lot for anyone to deal with.
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